Remembering TwentyTwelve

"I once had a dream of becoming a beautiful poet, but upon an unfortunate series of events, some of those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again, sparkling and.. broken. But I didn't really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted.. and then losing it, to know what true freedom is."
- Ride by Lana Del Rey

Is it a little too late to do this post? Muahaha sorry but I was very excited about BLACKTREE SHOP things and decided to do a post about 2012 later~ so here it is..

I may say that 2012 was the year when I hit the 180 degrees.

2012 started quite awesome, but I was in so much fear and pain. I was taken but I wasn't happy. I sacrificed so much yet it seems like it was never enough. Then things went pretty ugly and I can say that I hit the lowest point in my life; I feel like I was not worth it because it seems like everyone were giving up on me.

But then it took only just a little time and much support and love from my family and true super mega bestfriends to make me realize that the reason they gave up on me was just simply because I am too fucking awesome; no one can handle me. People choose to believe in things they want to believe in and I believe that it was them who isn't worth what they have cost me. :)

You may puke now. lol lol

You won't believe my awesomeness okay? I tell you lah you won't even believe me!! XD
You may think that I was just joking!

2012 was the year where one of my dreams achieved and two of them shattered to pieces, like they even weren't really there, like they have never been existed.

I have learnt and understood so many both good and bad things..
I learned that being at the lowest point in your life is actually a good thing because you don't have any way out but up.
I found bliss in every obstacle I faced,
I meet new wonderful people who are so inspiring; many of them are an expert in their field yet they are so down to earth it makes me respect them even more.
I have learned how you never really stop loving someone, you just learn how to move on with your life without them, because you either never did love them or you always will.

In 2013 I hope that I can continue the good progress I have been making, I feel like I am more contained, patient, and careless; I am at a better place :)

Wishing you guys a year full of happiness, laugh, and much more of awesomeness!!
STAY HAPPY AND HEALTHY. OH YEAH.

There it goes..

I never have respects for those men who hit women, regardless of the reason WHY.
Especially when a grown up man slap his little sister as hard as he could until her cheeks swell, her lips bleed, and caused her a terrible headache that lasted for 2 days. What an honored man he is, yeah?

A person need to be well respected if she/he wants to be heard. If you can't even earn other people's respect then how you expect them to listen to you??? And remember how respect is EARNED, it is not something you have automatically just because you happened to be an elder sibling. Being born as an elder brother/sister doesn't mean that you can fucking dictate your younger siblings like they don't have their own perspective. 

And remember how action speaks louder than words. If your asshole younger siblings don't want to listen to your words, you should be the living example for them, a good one of course. Maybe you are not such a good living example of an elder sibling so that might be the reason why your younger sibling REFUSES to follow your advice lah!! They maybe have these thoughts like: "MEH! koko can't even control his ugly temper then why I have to respect this asshole? WHY AH? Always beat me one lah, his younger sister, when we have an argument. why can't he argue like a normal adult without violence ar??"

People have their own will and thoughts, you can't force them to follow your will. I mean of course you can give your piece of thoughts when you are ASKED and when you gave your words but they don't agree with you, you don't have any rights to be mad! Who died and made you a King of Everything?

For example, Me, myself, I have always been a stubborn human being, probably since I was still in my mother's womb. I don't like when people KEEP telling me to do. I HATE IT. It is not that I don't need other people's advice, on the contrary, I always seeks advices from my loved ones when I have some problems for example like if I got pregnant but I don't have any idea about who the father is, but surely I don't need an advice about how to eat a fucking boiled crab. I surely can eat my boiled crab in any kind of ways that I want, why? FUCK YOU that's why!

No lah, just kidding :p
I mean when it comes to small unimportant matters like: "how to dig your nose in a right way" or "how many times you have to breathe in a day"... Do you really have to give an advice about that? really?

There it goes my very last respect for this so called "honorable and righteous man".

My Thing.

"Every now and then, the stars align. Boy and girl meet by the great design. Could it be that you and me, are the lucky ones?" - Lucky Ones, Lana Del Rey

Ratna, Miranti, and I went for a very late supper few days ago. While we were waiting for their food to come (I hardly refused to eat but they decided that I HAVE to eat as well) ,we had a little chat about love, which frankly speaking, I had enough of, and I just figured out my thing.

Miranti and Ratna have the same way of "choosing" what kind of male they want to be their man, while I kind of.. the opposite way. I could say that they are picky, WHICH IS GOOD. I mean, we even try to put on the shoes that we like and try to walk on it, before we make a purchase. We double check the leather, the stitches, and the color etc, making sure they are perfect, so why wouldn't we be EXTRA picky about something so intimate and important like "choosing a lover"?

I have to admit that I have never been so picky as a woman, NOT EVEN ONCE. It's not that I want to be in a relationship SO BADLY, but it is more like me being so grateful that someone whom I love, loves me back. And I believe I have to be more picky about choosing someone to love from now on. lols.

I used to think that "why would a guy likes a girl like me? ME?? GAK ADA CEWEK LAIN APAH?". But hey, people have been telling me that I am pretty (by people i mean my parents, sister, and close friends. LOLS) and I always give my best, pretty much at every aspects in my life, so yeah, I think my thing is that I AM SO GOOD AT LOVING PEOPLE. *blushing*

Enough with the shitty thing called love, IM OUTTA HEREE.

Love, uh i mean, CHEERS!! :D

DW

A fool and a Tough one.

I always believe that basically, people are kind, but I should never forget on how mean and cruel human being can be sometimes. I had this thought; Why do people that I believe will never hurt me, always ended up being the ones who hurt me the most? Because I let them, I gave them a chance to hurt me. I was too naive to have this thought on how they will never ever hurt me but they just proved me wrong, they always reminded me on how I should never trust people that easily, a real prove on how kind and honest human being have been decreasing from time to time.

There was an ugly matter happened to me few days ago, it taught me a lot of things.
How I should never abandon what my brain says, rather than listening only to what my stupid-naive heart says.
How I should never lower down my guard to people who don't deserve it.
How I should respect myself more, value myself rightly.
I was a fool. I admit that.
Time to get on a higher level, wie!

People have reasons behind every mistake they did, oh hell yes they do.
But it doesn't mean its okay to make mistake, especially when you could hurt someone else's feelings.
What an ignorant bastard of you, to think it is okay to hurt people's feelings just because you "have your reasons"???
If I had my reasons to stab you in the eyes, does that mean it is okay to do so??? enggak kan?

Hating people is exhausting. It really is.. That's why I decided to stop give a fuck about those people who don't even deserve my care.
Sometimes, it is easier to just forgive and forget people's mistake, because what they did is too hurtful.
But I can't just forget what people have done to me. NEVER. I might forgive them but I will never forget. I'm not planning on any revenge or getting even, I believe karma will bite them back and if I was lucky enough, God will let me see how they taste their own medicine.

Love is kind... It's true. When you got hurt by someone and you forgive them instead; you bring out the best in you and you are not mad at them however, you tried to understand their reasons on why they hurt you. You accept it sincerely and you wish them the best, you wish that they will never be treated just like the way they treated you... That's simply.. awesome right? :)

The difference between a fool and a tough people is.. a fool will understand and give you another chance, tough people will understand and will never give you a chance to hurt them ever again.

I made mistakes and I learned from them.
I have been hurt but I'm alive.
I forgive and I never forget.

I am now on a new higher level and stronger than ever. BRING IT ON! seriously.

Hey anyway~
These are a bunch of photo of Audric and me cam-whoring. HE IS DAMN CUTE I WANT HIM TO BE MY NEW BOYFRIEND, which is impossible cause I'm 19 years old older than him. Muahahaha.

Don't you just love him?? Audric is so smart, he speaks 3 languages! Chinese, English, and of course Bahasa Indonesia. I have to learn speak and write in Chinese too. Immediately. 

Now I feel.. happy and carefree. Life seems to be more delightful, no more serious worries~

I am happy, you should be happy too! :)

"Tough times never last, but tough people do" -
Dr. Robert Schuller.

Love,

D.W

Chapter XXII: The Client List

Have you heard about "the Client List" before?

look at her boobies!!! LOLS

The Client List is a movie about an undercover prostitute being exposed and arrested by the police. In order to reduced the sentence she faced, she decided to testifying against the clients she has served so she made "the client list" but the list was never released to the media and the names are remain unknown. She is a married woman and has 2 children and she was exposed to the media.

I am not going to talk about this movie, what I am going to talk about is.. how it really happened in Singapore! Yes, 48 men were charged for underage-prostitution. And one of those 48 men, is a 28 years old Indonesian who are going to be married this June. How do I know about this? 

Because Singaporean media released "the client list" of this fucking stupid underage girl with their full name, age, and their real job on the newspaper and all over the internet. FUCKING INSANE !!

This stupid underage girl (now 20 years old) LIED about her age to the "agency" she previously works for and now she is charging all of her clients??? what the heck happened to this girl's brain? She lied to the agency and the clients but she charged them with underage-prostitute. I don't know clearly why she gave the list to the police, but if it's the same as the movie; to reduce her sentences, she is totally out of her mind.

Don't get me wrong, I DO AGAINST underage prostitution, but this one is different! She is willingly work as one! No one forced her to work as an underage prostitute, not her agency, not her clients but herself. And all these 48 men are totally guilty for prostitution, but to publish their full name in media is way out of the line. They did not know that the girl they hired is underage.

None of these 48 men nor the stupid underage girl is a victim, the real victims are those 48 men's family; their parents, wives, children, and close friends. And what make it more unfair is, the real name of the former underage prostitute is remain unknown.

See the difference???
In the movie, those men on the client list is remain unknown while the identity of the prostitute is exposed. In Singapore, its the opposite way, those men's real identities are exposed and the prostitute's identity remain unknown.

Source:

Asian Correspondent : 48 Charged as Underage Prostitution Scandal Grips Singapore
Bloomberg: Singapore Charges 48 in Underage Prostitution Scandal

Chapter XVII: Dia.

Dia itu plin plan.
Dia sedih kalo ada orang yang gak suka sama dia.
Dia pengen jadi orang yang disukai dan disenangi oleh banyak orang,
ketakutan terbesar dia adalah dibenci, apalagi sama orang yang dia sukai/ kagumi.

Pada dasarnya dia orang dengan rasa empati yang besar. Dia terbiasa menempatkan diri di posisi orang lain, karena itu dia benci bikin susah/repot orang lain. Ibunya selalu berkata "enggak apa-apa orang nyakitin kita, asal kita jangan nyakitin orang lain." Dan dia coba buat nurut sama nasihat Ibunya.

Prinsip dia adalah jangan melakukan hal-hal yang lo gak mau dapetin, ke orang lain. Karena itu dia selalu mencoba baik/ramah sama orang yang bahkan dia gak suka, bukan karena munafik, tapi atas nama sopan santun.

Benci adalah satu kata yang kuat untuk dia. Bagi dia membenci orang yang udah nyakitin dia adalah wajar.  Benci akan terucap ketika ada orang yang udah bikin dia kecewa, yang bikin dia nangis. Oh iya dia juga benci dirinya yang gampang nangis :")

Dia ingin menjadi sesosok pribadi yang kuat, tangguh. Karna itu dia bangun tembok pelindung disekelilingnya, tapi begitu mudah dia membiarkan orang-orang yang dia kira baik untuk masuk ke dalam benteng  perlindungannya. Karena itu dia gampang tersakiti. Dia mudah percaya, dan dia percaya pada dasarnya semua orang itu baik.

Lalu dia sadar betapa banyaknya orang yang sudah tidak baik lagi, maka dia mencoba untuk menjauhi orang-orang yang menurut dia tidak baik, karena dia percaya dia punya hak untuk mengatur pribadi-pribadi mana yang pantas ada di kehidupan dia, atau tidak.

Ketika dia jatuh cinta, maka masuk akal-lah bagi dia; untuk memberikan yang terbaik untuk orang yang dicintainya. Orang itu akan menjadi prioritas utama dia.. bodoh memang. Tapi memang cinta bikin orang jadi bodoh kan?? :"o

Dia ingin sekali saja, dimanja. Walaupun dia adalah wanita yang independen, ada saatnya dia ingin merebahkan tubuhnya ke bahu pria yang dia cinta. Dia ingin mempunyai sesosok yang selalu dia andalkan.. dan dia berangan-angan.. apa salah untuk berharap banyak dan berharap tinggi kepada orang yang paling berarti bagi dia?

Dan dia sadar bahwa orang yang berarti bagi dia tidak mempunyai perasaan yang sama seperti dia. Dia bukanlah prioritas utama bagi sosok itu.

Dia menyerah akan semua yang ada, tentang harapan yang pernah digantung tinggi-tinggi, tentang cinta yang dia bangga-banggakan. Dia percaya, lalu kecewa. Maka, dia memilih untuk pasrah dan mengalah pada kenyataan.

Dia adalah Aku.

D.W

The Other Reaction of Joseph Kony campaign. (KONY 2012)

Yes, I guess most of you people have heard about this "revolution". It all started few days ago when people in my twitter timeline started tweeting about this campaign.

If you haven't heard about Joseph Kony, watch the video about him here.
The main storyline is this awful guy named Joseph Kony in northern Uganda, he abducted children from their parents and make them his army; he forces them to kill their own parents and he forces them to do other bad things.

I understand how people have their own thoughts and ways to convey their sympathy. People have rights to have their own opinion and convey it as well.

Well, this is me, conveying my thoughts about Project Kony. I feel like the aim of this project is unclear and biased, I think that this project is promoting a war. why?

the fact of KONY 2012 project

Here's what I found from my research; only 37% of their budget (comes from the donation and the sale from their souvenirs) goes directly to central African-programs (build schools, provide food, medicine,etc), 20% goes to salary and overhead (movie production, budget for souvenirs production) and the remaining 43% goes to their awareness programs.

So if you did donate for Invisible Children or tweeting about Joseph Kony, you help them spread the awareness, you didn't help the children whom Joseph has abducted.

From the video they made I got the point where they have gathered (American and local) army to find and kill Joseph while Joseph's army are mostly children, means a lot of Joseph's army will be killed, means more children will die. Got my point? :) So I think this project clearly does not promote any kind of peace, cause they fight fire with fire.

I believe there's much better, peaceful, and useful ways to fight and prevent LRA (Joseph Kony's colony) from abducting more children, for example reinforce local safety, build proper homes, schools, hospitals or clinics, and any other public facilities.

In this is how Xia Xue, the famous Singaporean blogger has the same thoughts as mine but she conveys it in a.. different way I must say. hehehe

Xia Xue's tweet! 

I do think that we shouldn't blindly trust into things or news that we don't really know and happened in another continent. Do some research before donating your money or supporting any cause, be the smart-kind-hearted person who makes sure that the money you donate goes to the people who are really in need, not to some film-production's fund.

But hey, this is my thought and what I believe, If you disagree with it... well let's agree to disagree. LOL

Frankly speaking, there are thousand of unlucky and unfortunate children in our beloved country Indonesia. If you really are a kind-hearted people.. you know what you have to do :)

Cheers!!!

D.W

Source:

• http://visiblechildren.tumblr.com.nyud.net/
• http://chrisblattman.com/2009/03/04/visible-children/
• http://www.wrongingrights.com/2009/03/worst-idea-ever.html/
• http://ilto.wordpress.com/2006/11/02/the-visible-problem-with-invisible-children/

UPDATED

found this on 9gag and it seems legit 

source: here

Chapter XVI : Love is a Battlefield

Love is a battlefield, isn't it??
You have to fight for the ones you love.
Whether you fight to get their love or even to preserve their love.

I have failed to maintain a long-term relationship with my partner so many times before. Most off all were because we didn't have the same vision on how to express our love. We do have our own definition on how to let our loved ones know how we feel about them.. some show it with flowers, cards, chocolates, and other little sweet things. Some think that from being loyal and faithful is the only perfect way to show their feelings, no need flowers, gifts, and other shits.

But being too much carefree about little things that make your partner happy for the sake of being a principled person is just the same as being SELFISH.
Why? Because if you really love a person, you would do anything what it takes to make them happy; you put their happiness above yours, and that's what I called sacrifice.


Sac • ri • fice | noun | an act of a person surrendering a possession.

That is my ideal idea of love and how to preserve the love that I have.
You give your best to your partner. Don't you dare ask them to understand you when you don't even give the slightest effort to understand them.
Always make sure that he/she knows your feelings about them, make them feel loved.

Because when you stop showing your love, the love itself is fading away and it may permanently gone.


Broken hearted girl,

D.W

Chapter XV: Trapped in Memories

Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, and the things you never want to lose. - Kevin Arnold

Have you ever find yourself crying while remembering some of the beautiful memories you ever have?

Memory that makes your heart beats faster.
Memory that makes you feel like you were just having a dream; because it was too beautiful and passed way too fast.
Memory that you wish you could get back into, but you simply can't, because things are different now and people change.

Memory of people you used to be close with.
Memory of people you used to love but now gone.
Memory when things are perfectly fine until you screwed it up.
Memory of who you used to be.

And then, you find yourself trapped in the past, so you are looking forward for the future, but you actually missing out the present..

Have you?

♥♥♥,


D

Chapter XIV: ?

Hidup itu enggak ada yang pasti. Justru itu yang bikin seru, iya kan?

Enggak ada yang bisa jamin masa depan lo, bahkan orang tua lo sendiri atau kertas2 ijazah hasil lo menyiksa diri belajar hal-hal yang jarang diterapkan di kehidupan nyata. 2 tahun gue ngeles matematika-kimia-fisika ga ada satu pun yang gue pake di pekerjaan gue dan kehidupan sehari-hari. Paling matematika kepake cuma buat itung2an size poster atau name card sama ngitung pengeluaran gue. Itu pun suka pake kartulator :|

Future does scare me and I do believe in destiny. But it doesnt mean we give up trying our best.
Jangan berpikiran "ah mw gue belajar mati2an, kalo emang takdirnya gue ga lulus, ya ga lulus aja"
Percayalah kawan, takdir memang di tangan Tuhan, tapi nasib masih di tangan kita.  Ketika Tuhan melihat usaha keras kita, Dia akan merestui kerja keras kita dan memberkati apa yang kita mau, itu yang gue percaya. Dan selama ini gak pernah sekali pun Tuhan ngecewain gue.

Enggak peduli darimana lo berasal, yang penting adalah arah tujuan lo. Kalo kata JS, "get rich or die tryin"
Emang bener kalo kaya ga menjamin kita bahagia, but at least we could suffer in style B) ya gakk seeehhh hahahaha.

Live Happily my fellow b*tches! LOL.

quote: Paradise - Coldplay

xx,




D

Chapter VIII: Everything has a limit.

Semua hal ada batas nya, bahkan hal2 kecil kayak yang namanya bercanda.

Bercanda itu seharusnya ga nyakitin orang yang dibencandain kan?

Pernah ga lo mikir dalam otak lo "Becandaan gue keterlaluan ga ya?"
Kalo bercandaan lo udh nyakitin orang lain, itu udh bukan bercanda lagi namanya. tapi nge-BULLY. Lo tertawa diatas kesedihan orang lain, and what is funny about that?

Mungkin lo ga akan pernah tau, kalo lo pernah nyakitin orang dengan cara bercandain dia.

Gue tau, kita bercanda ga ada maksud sama sekali bwt nyakitin orang yang kita becandain, tp terkadang, yes, joke does hurt sometime, especially when it went too private.

Bercanda yang bawa2 fisik, tentang sad or bad memories,apalagi sama cewek, itu udah warning alias lampu kuning. Cewek jauh lebih sensitif daripada cowok. Inget, secuek2nya cewek, mereka tetep cewek! hehehe apalagi yang lagi PMS, mending lo minggir daripada lo dibacok pake golok. muahaha

Batasan2  bercanda balik lagi ke diri masing2 karena itu tuh abstrak, ya lo nimbang2 ajalah sendiri bercandaan lo pantes apa engga. Paling kalo lo ga nyadar ya.. banyak lah yang gak demen. sama lo. muahahaha.

Cheers everybody!

XOXO

D

#randomthoughts part 2

#randomthoughts

image source: here