Fully Loaded part 2

"Love happens to you. To us. And sometimes, just sometimes, it happens without you knowing.

And when you do realize it, things have become just a little bit too late." -  D

When people put me in a position where I have to defend myself, I choose to keep quite. They are trying to put me down, well it  is not gonna work, I am telling you. Why? Because I know my own values and I don't think my words would prove them wrong : my actions will.

I am not overly confident or what lah~  I am maybe young and just (almost) 22 years old, but I survived many hellholes and I've gone through a lot things that a regular 22 wouldn't get through. I worked my ass off to get to where I am now, I am not just some "lucky" girl. I deserve things that I have at this moment, cause I earned it myself. I have the choice for not being an independent person and depend on my parents rather than working this hard to earn a living. But hey, I am a born fighter. :)

I am exhausted: both physically and mentally. People asking me why I work so hard, is it because of money? No, it isn't. Money comes and goes.. we know that. It is simply because that's who I am. I do what I do based on my qualities, not because I am such a workaholic I guess, though I am addicted to my job.. or because anything or anyone else. This is me, I take things seriously, especially for something that I get paid for: I will make sure that I am worth every penny, people spent on me.

Last week has been one of the most toughest weeks in my whole life and what made it even worse is I don't have my tranquilizer. People take advantage of me, people disrespect me, they tried to put me down, stupid clients threw tantrums at me, but still what hurt me the most is your absence. Sorry, I can't let you stay, do you know that I am trying to save what we have?

Love,
D

The Naked Truth

The truth is.. losing you has taught me so many things, it changed me to be the person I have always wanted to be. I am sorry that I wasn't good enough for you to stay and fight for the things and hopes we believed in. I am sorry that I wasn't able to be someone you expected me to be, I am terribly sorry.

The truth is.. I will always embracing our memories together, it brings the warmth back to my heart. I wish you happiness, prosperity, and all the goodness in life. And don't forget that baby you are one of a kind.  I wasn't ready to say goodbye but here I am, finding myself much much happier, stronger, more contained than ever when I was still with you. 

Lets live happily, but separately. 

To fall in love and to be broken hearted.

To forgive and to forget.

To remember and to let go.

To learn and to understand.

--

Oh enough the melodramatic SHITs.. LOLS. Do you miss me?? ahahaha

I cut my hair recently! I just came to the hair salon and was thinking "I'm cutting all these bitches off! "

And the funny thing is the hair dresser thought that I was a Japanese. and here's our conversation before he cut my hair.

HD : Kamu... Orang jepang yah??

ME :  Saya.. orang jakarta mas.

HD : ALHAMDULILAH YRA. *lega*

And here I am with my new hair do:

What do you think???? And here is me with the long long hair...

Which one do you think is better for me? I love my long hair but I HATE BLOW DRYING IT.

It took SO LONG for my long hair to dry. hahaha so I CUT IT OFF. muwahahahahaha

I love my new hair though! :)

"when there's a will, there's a way!"

Love,

DW

A fool and a Tough one.

I always believe that basically, people are kind, but I should never forget on how mean and cruel human being can be sometimes. I had this thought; Why do people that I believe will never hurt me, always ended up being the ones who hurt me the most? Because I let them, I gave them a chance to hurt me. I was too naive to have this thought on how they will never ever hurt me but they just proved me wrong, they always reminded me on how I should never trust people that easily, a real prove on how kind and honest human being have been decreasing from time to time.

There was an ugly matter happened to me few days ago, it taught me a lot of things.
How I should never abandon what my brain says, rather than listening only to what my stupid-naive heart says.
How I should never lower down my guard to people who don't deserve it.
How I should respect myself more, value myself rightly.
I was a fool. I admit that.
Time to get on a higher level, wie!

People have reasons behind every mistake they did, oh hell yes they do.
But it doesn't mean its okay to make mistake, especially when you could hurt someone else's feelings.
What an ignorant bastard of you, to think it is okay to hurt people's feelings just because you "have your reasons"???
If I had my reasons to stab you in the eyes, does that mean it is okay to do so??? enggak kan?

Hating people is exhausting. It really is.. That's why I decided to stop give a fuck about those people who don't even deserve my care.
Sometimes, it is easier to just forgive and forget people's mistake, because what they did is too hurtful.
But I can't just forget what people have done to me. NEVER. I might forgive them but I will never forget. I'm not planning on any revenge or getting even, I believe karma will bite them back and if I was lucky enough, God will let me see how they taste their own medicine.

Love is kind... It's true. When you got hurt by someone and you forgive them instead; you bring out the best in you and you are not mad at them however, you tried to understand their reasons on why they hurt you. You accept it sincerely and you wish them the best, you wish that they will never be treated just like the way they treated you... That's simply.. awesome right? :)

The difference between a fool and a tough people is.. a fool will understand and give you another chance, tough people will understand and will never give you a chance to hurt them ever again.

I made mistakes and I learned from them.
I have been hurt but I'm alive.
I forgive and I never forget.

I am now on a new higher level and stronger than ever. BRING IT ON! seriously.

Hey anyway~
These are a bunch of photo of Audric and me cam-whoring. HE IS DAMN CUTE I WANT HIM TO BE MY NEW BOYFRIEND, which is impossible cause I'm 19 years old older than him. Muahahaha.

Don't you just love him?? Audric is so smart, he speaks 3 languages! Chinese, English, and of course Bahasa Indonesia. I have to learn speak and write in Chinese too. Immediately. 

Now I feel.. happy and carefree. Life seems to be more delightful, no more serious worries~

I am happy, you should be happy too! :)

"Tough times never last, but tough people do" -
Dr. Robert Schuller.

Love,

D.W

Chapter XXIII : The Long Weekend

I went to a Korean Festival held by one of a hospitality college in Bogor last Saturday.  Was it good? HELL NO. I felt like a stupid adult young lady trapped in a bunch students; starting from primary to college/uni student whom are crazily in love with their Korean idol. I was a student 2 years ago. Fuck, I'm getting older!!!

How would I know about this festival? My older sister.
So my mom, my sister, my brother, and his wife went to Bogor basically for wasting our money for nothing. We paid 15.000 rupiahs/ person for the entrance and 5000rupiahs/food vouchers.
The food? Quite.. aw.. awful!!!

We finally ended up snacking and decided to leave after 25 minutes and we went to a MP (Macaroni Panggang/ Baked Macaroni) restaurant to have a REAL beautiful lunch with the REAL DELICIOUS food. YUM! Good food makes me happy!!

I ordered a tenderloin steak as my main course, Tiramisu Cake as my dessert, and Bintang Beer mixed with Sprite as my drink. and I did a lot of cam whoring in the car. muahahaha

Tenderloin Beef Steak served with boiled vegie and plain croquette

Beer Bintang mixed with SPRITE

AMAZING TIRAMISU CAKE

EXECUTED AWESOME TIRAMISU CAKE

On Sunday, my mom asked me to accompany her to a wedding of her primary school friend's daughter.
I hate wearing high heels and I hate the fact that I had to queue for my own food.. I was queuing up for about 25 minutes and when I am about to reach the front line, the chef told us that the sushi were finish. I WAS DAMN MAD!!!

And then when I was queuing for an unbelievably delicious warm brownies with ice cream on top of it, I saw someone throw away a beautiful-pink-roasted prawn.. I LOVE PRAWN, I am a prawn eater and I feel so sad when people wasting prawns!!! lol okay I know I am too much on this one.

I swear there will be no queuing on my *ehem* wedding party. If you think about it, it is quite rude to let your guests eating while standing. They come to celebrate your happy moment and yet they give you some ang pao lor.  I will set a table and chair for each one of my guests and I will make sure all of them got enough food and they got to pick what they want to eat! awesome, right??
And I'm planning to invite only close family and REAL best friends. If you loathe me and I loathe you too, you don't have to come, I wont bother to invite you either. LOLS.

This means if I invited you to my AWESOME wedding, you are at least a good friend for me :)
Am I getting married??  Not in 6-8 years, so I guess you still have enough time to make friends with me. muahahahaha

peace out, bitches!

"Stop holding on to what hurts and make room for what feels good." -@idillionaire




Love,


D.W

MAYDAY MAYDAY

"Orang yang mengatakan matahari mendatangkan kebahagiaan adalah orang yang tidak pernah menari di tengah hujan." - unknown writer.

It's May already!
Time flies super fast, or did someone in heaven press fast forward? lols

Life as we know it: things change, people change. You learn from the mistake you have done in the past: it made you a whole lot better, stronger person. I have done a lot of ugly things that I wish I didn't do, but I did it and I have to live on knowing what kind of a person I was.

When you failed once, try again. Failed twice, try harder. Failed thrice.. walk away. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. There is a fine line between giving up and knowing you have done enough, because sometimes, things are just don't work out as we hope it will.

I have always blaming myself for shits that happened in my life, I look down upon myself and I should have not done that. I have learned how I should value and appreciate myself more but not over do it :) and I think I deserve to have someone who actually gives a shit about me, who doesn't judge me for things that I have done wrong, just to sit and listen to all my craps and make me feel a lot of better. Thank you N and thank you, my supermegabestfriend, S!! cant wait to see you this end of the month! :D

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." 
- unknown.

I am so ready to be happy again. Are you? :)

And here's some pics of me camwhoring. lols

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And this is Soraya, 2 years old little girl. Yaya is my co-worker's niece. Her dad is.. French? Australian?  I forgot le~ and her mom is Indonesian. The bottom line is, YAYA'S SUPER CUTE. FIX: IM GOING TO MARRY A (handsome) CAUCASIAN.

---------------------------------------------------

And im going to share you my May's Playlist!!! :D

Adele - Take it all
" So is it over? is this really it? you're giving up easily, i thought you loved me more than this."

Mr. Little Jeans (RAC Remix) - Rescue Song
" i'm gonna rescue you, so you can rescue me too."

Christina Perri - A Thousand Year
" how can i love, when i am afraid to fall? but watching you stand alone, all of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow"

Rihanna - Farewell
" just can't take the thought of you miles away, somebody is going to miss you, somebody is going to wish you were here, and that somebody is me"

One Republic - Say (All I need is)
I REALLY WANT TO QUOTE ALL THIS GODDAMN LYRICS LAH! go google it!!!

Okay, gotta go now crying to my sleep till my eyes got ugly and nasty . CUPSMWAH. :*
Just kidding, gotta go play L4D killing all zombies and shits!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA

source: here

Love,

D.W