Fully Loaded

She takes a deep breath and BOOM. She just realized that she forgets her mother's birthday! She has worked so hard lately she lost track of time. She loves her job but her job is too time consuming she doesn't even have time for herself: she literally doesn't even have time to be sick.

She wants to say "Wait the minute." to everything and STOP, then takes a very very good rest. Her ganglion cyst on her both hands are acting up again lately it hurts so bad at night when she wants to go to sleep. A long-good-night sleep has become a luxury thing she rarely gets.

She knows she needs the surgery to remove the ganglion cyst but she doesn't have the money and she doesn't want to bother her parents because she thinks that she burdened her parents too much already. So, she bears the pain.

She always wanted to be a strong person: a person who chooses to be strong when they have the right to break down and cry. Well, she cries a lot in her sleep. When she steps out her room she puts her bestest smile on her face so people won't notice her sadness.

She is fully loaded. She is full of dreams, passion, and love. She is full of anger and unspoken feelings as well, it drives her crazy: she is about this CLOSE to lose her mind. She has this guy by her side for so many years, just right in front of her eyes, but she literally pushed him away, she didn't let herself fall for this man. But when her barricades fall and the unlocked feelings run free from her brain pass through her throat and to all over her body, her heart hurts, it burns like a fucking hell. How come she became THAT STUPID denial little bitch? He is probably one of the most nicest guy she ever met in her life.

She oftenly misses him. She shares sooo many things with him, she has the same dream as his. She feels so happy when she is with him. When she had a problem with her then bf, he was the first person on her mind. He calms her down, only he can do that. He does magic to her. (This is sound fucking disgusting, okay? HAHAHA)

But of course it's all too late then; he loves someone else. And why would a guy like him falls in love with a girl like her in the first place?? Will it make a difference if she realized it earlier and let him know her feelings? Would he be hers by now? Would they be happy then?

She said her goodbyes secretly to him, just as secret as her true feelings towards him.

The end.

And again, this is just another story (might be true, might be as false as Kim Kardashian's huge ass).

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DAMN I THINK I COULD BE A GOOD WRITER LEH! Watch out Stephenie Meyer! I might write a book about a silly thing called l.o.v.e and Twilight will look so stupid compared to my story.
LOLS.

gotta go now, xoxo

D.W

Beautiful Nightmare

2 days ago she wrote this on her notes:

"This is much much harder than I thought it would be; our relationship. I thought I was ready to jump back into a relationship, but I was wrong. I love you, but I love myself more. I am not happy and I want to be happy.. You should be (happy) too, therefore I'm letting you go so you could be with someone who wants to be with you, as much as you do."

But she deleted it, why? Because she thinks that, what kind of a selfish-bastard she is if she sent that to her less-than-one-month-boyfriend. So she promises herself she would do her best to love this man.

How could 2 human beings who were in love grew apart so fast, so obvious like them?

The man feels the same but he directly decided to let her go, as he realizes he is still in love with his ex-lover. He doesn't care if that means he is such an asshole.

He was someone so important, so special to her; she wants him to be part of her life, period. Cause she was tired of losing people she loves truly.

But then she sees how amazingly, easily, perfectly this man proves her WRONG. He is not worth it, at all.

He was just like a beautiful nightmare to her, he wasn't real. When she wakes up in the morning, he's gone, and she's glad that he did.

"Cause the love that you lost, wasn't worth what it cost, and in time you'll be glad its gone." 

Finally, she is free. And happy.


P.S : this story might be true, might be as bullshit as this man is. LOLS.